Peer Pressure: Winners Treat, Losers Eat

My cousin attended an assembly at his middle school entitled “Peer Pressure: Always Say No!” and I was bothered by that title because if peer pressure is doing something you truly don’t want to do, but you do it anyways so that other people will approve of you, than peer pressure rarely results in negative behavior... Sure it’s sad when kids get sick drinking a bottle of stale whiskey that was dwelling on the bottom shelf of grandpap’s liquor cabinet since 1967, and it’s even more pathetic when a teenage-boy uses the suction of an empty Pepsi bottle on the side of his neck to self-inflict a hickey.

However always saying ‘No!’ would lead to a self-indulging elitist attitude, thus leading to a stubborn ‘against the grain at all costs’ personality, and that would fester into to a life of serial killing or extreme fundamentalism. Either way serial killers and fundamentalists are both lame dates at the Jr/Sr Homecoming Dance.

I’m just saying anyone who spends a semester pledging a fraternity knows how to loosen up and not take themselves too seriously. After spending a couple nights crawling around blind-folded with an olive wedged in your ass cheeks, one becomes very humbled......and it’s even more humbling when your team keeps losing the races. “WINNERS TREAT, LOSERS EAT!!”

Truth is in life peer pressure is the fabric of harmonious society. It’s a dude working two jobs to make a child support payment....It’s shoveling a sidewalk.....It’s a flush and wash... It’s putting medication on a cold sore. So welcome peer pressure, loosen up, and lose the pants, and enjoy the races!! Trust your judgement to know when to draw the line, because in the end, nobody is really expected to eat the olive.